TheChez.net

Back in the day when I was just a naive little motherfucker scouring the internet and looking at all these cheap, idiotic fansites that people made for shit that they were in to, one thing I saw over and over again was the possibility of a movie based on the Legend of Zelda. Now, idiots and trolls make announcements about supposed movies coming out based on shit pretty much daily. But, again, I was a stupid little kid and I believed pretty much everything I saw. Eventually, I came across a site that had an actual trailer. After having seen so many fakes where people shoddily slapped together various clips from TV shows and movies, I was shocked to see that this was an actual trailer. Alas, though, it was just a shitty fan-made piece of shit. Here is the original trailer that was released over three years ago.

As you can see, it’s pretty shitty. Well, I searched high and low all over the internet and I could find virtually no information pertaining to this fan created Zelda movie. However, a few months ago, I finally was able to find out the fate of the Hero of Time. Turns out that it was still in production and the people behind it had every intention of continuing on with the process. They launched a youtube channel with several FAQs and also a new trailer, which I will now show you.

As you can see, it is still a complete and utter piece of shit. But, honestly, all things considered, for just a few dozen people getting together and making do with what little they have, I suppose it’s not that bad. I suppose it could be worse. They do have Link in a green tunic, he rides a horse, Ganondorf is present, and they seem to be following a loose adaptation of the story from Ocarina of Time, widely regarded as the greatest Zelda game of all time. Personally, I do not think so, but I will save that for another time. Still, though, after watching some of the FAQs on their channel and seeing the unsettling lack of knowledge they seem to have of some aspects of the Zelda series, I remain convinced that this fan movie will undoubtedly be a complete piece of shit. But just like that god forsaken Dragonball movie, I will absolutely still watch it.

So, in summation, I just want to say that a Legend of Zelda movie is an absolutely horrible idea. If given the proper budget and attention, I suppose it might be able to be pulled off, but that’s a big might. I’d vastly prefer Zelda to just stay in the realm of video games, where I feel it truly belongs. I fucking love the Zelda games and I would hate to see their hallowed lineage tainted by a shitty as fuck movie. But I suppose what I’m trying to say is that some things are just plain not meant to be adapted and are best left in their original form of media. I cannot possibly imagine a Zelda ever being any good. I could honestly imagine a Metroid movie being pulled off, but as I said before, it would definitely need the proper attention. Feel free to disagree with me, but I’m just saying what I think. So, yeah, that’s more or less all that I wanted to say. A Zelda movie will most assuredly suck, even an official one. Don’t ruin Zelda. Don’t make a movie.