TheChez.net

Shoes with wheels = gay

A brief rant by Mike Le

I was embarking on a quest for new jeans at the mall today, when I noticed a quirky and, quite frankly, most moronic phase of pre-pubescent, fluctuating hormonal stupidity ever the grace the ground.  Shoes with wheels on the bottom of them.  In the middle of the mall, there was a group of either overweight or anorexic little faggots dressed in emo-ish attire with piercings in God know what body parts, eating cheap, fast-food cardboard from McDonalds, and pretending that they were cool.  They were running up and down the aisle and gliding along the pathways (might I add blatantly disregarding anyone in their way) only to turn around and do the the same thing again.  What the deuce is going on? Did shoes with wheels nullify common courtesy?

Let’s get this straight:  I got nothing against rollarblades, skates, or even those grind “soap shoes.”  But when some idiot designs a shoe that weighs three times a steel-toed Timberland boot wrapped in a snuggie, he is only asking for disaster.  He is only inviting the apethetic and lazy pre-teen to do what he does best, which is to be lazy and NOT give any effort to locomotion.  I have seen, albeit hilarious as it was, kids fall down and hurt themselves while skating on these God-forsaken soles.  Moreover, I have also seen, again ignoring the hilarity of it, kids knock over displays which someone worked hard to construct.  These kids need to learn that if they want to do a wheelie, they simple have to go outside. They need to learn that these shoes are not polite, moreover even safe, to use in public.  They need to learn that simply because they have the latest fad, it doesn’t mean they are cool.

Shoes with wheels — $49.99.  Bloodabsorbing Socks– $9.99.   Trouble they cause–priceless.

So, the next time you see a kid gliding, instead of walking in your path, do the world a favor and give them a good shove.  Topple them over.  Trample their false sense of purpose.   They deserve it, and you’ll be doing them a favor.