TheChez.net

Yeah, so I usually don’t do this kind of thing, but I’m bored and I have like forty minutes to kill before the pool at my school opens up and I can go there and get my workout in because I’m injured and can’t run. It fucking blows. Anyway, I always submit my weekend box office predictions to Box Office Mojo for their weekly derby thing to see how well I can predict how movies will do. As of now, my all time rank is 41 of 550 people. I usually get about 80% accuracy per weekend, which isn’t half bad. Some films are obviously much harder to predict than others. So, anyway, these are my predictions for how movies will do this weekend. Let’s see how accurate I can be.

 1. Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself.

 I’m predicting this to open at number one because these Tyler Perry movies have a built audience that comes out to see every single one of his movies. When his first film, Diary of a Mad Black Woman, opened to number one back in 2005, I was more shocked than I had ever been by a box office result. I had never heard of the film. Not once. I had absolutely no clue what it was. That has never happened before or since. It’s unheard of. But, yeah, I hate Tyler Perry and I don’t think he or his TV show or these movies are funny at all. Not to be racist or anything, but I really think it’s because I’m not black. I just don’t get the humor. And it annoys me when I see these movies do well. Anyway, I’m calling for this to open to about 23 million, which is right in line with his usual fare, though I wouldn’t be surprised to see this breakout and open to 30 million or even more.

2. 9

 A lot of people on the forums at Box Office Mojo are predicting pretty low numbers for 9. However, I occasionally have to be optimistic about things and I really hope that this film does well. I thought that the trailer was amazing and I really expect good things from it, but, yeah, it’s kind of a tough sell. Even though he’s not really all that involved with it, I think it’s a smart move to heavily advertise Tim Burton’s name. He has quite a nice little fanbase. 9 is opening on a Wednesday, which will absorb some of the business it could potentially do over the weekend proper, but I’m still hoping this could do well. So, I’m guessing about 17 million for 9, which is being kind of generous, but I really do want to see this do well. I’m not being very objective about this, but oh well.

3. Sorority Row. I’m going to say about seven million for this. September is traditionally one of the worst months in terms of box office and studios often dump the not good enough for the summer shit in this month. Sorority Row is a perfect example. Seven million sounds good to me.

4. Whiteout: about 6.5 to 7 million. See above.

5. Inglourious Basterds: I’m going to say about 6.5 million. Movies tend to suffer bigger drops after holiday weekends. But Basterds has been pretty well received, so I don’t think it should fall too hard. I could be wrong, though.

6. The facts that it’s coming off a holiday weekend and it’s a horror movie make me feel like The Final Destination is going to fall apart. So, I’m going with 4.6 million.

7. All About Steve hasn’t been well received at all, so I feel like it’s gonna get hit hard. Let’s go with about 4.5 million.

8. District 9 has been holding pretty decently and I don’t the holiday will affect it to much at this point, so I’ll go with 3.9 million this weekend. It’s already over 100 million and has exceeded expectations by a longshot, so I’m quite happy for it.

9. Julie and Julia: 3.7 million sounds good to me.

10. I think Gamer is going to get destroyed this weekend. I could honestly see it falling over 70% this weekend, which is massive and all, but it wouldn’t surprise me. The average prediction at BOM was about 4.6 million this weekend, but I thought that was way too conservative. There is no way this will fall under 50%. So, I’m going with a gargantuan decline all the way down to 2.7 million. I must say, though, that I’m somewhat surprised by its respectable 6.5 at IMDB. But, whatever, those are my predictions. Adios, everyone. We’ll see how I did with all this on Sunday or Monday or Tuesday or whenever the fuck I get around to it. Until we meet again.