TheChez.net

by ssjrem

Halloween tends to reek havoc on the box office. Certain holidays can help films, but Halloween just kind of fucks over everything, sometimes with the exception of horror movies, which makes sense. It’s just not traditionally a big weekend for the box office and this weekend is no exception.

Michael Jackson’s This is It

Thriller really is significantly creepier now that he’s dead. If Michael Jackson rose from the dead as a fucking zombie, I would be freaked the fuck out. Though, who wouldn’t? Anyway, I was making my usual message board rounds this past week and couldn’t help but to continually scoff at the outright ridiculous predictions for this film. People were saying things like 80 million is a sure bet and shit like that. They must have been out of their minds. I started asking myself, “Is there even an audience for this movie?” Why wouldn’t anyone want to see this? Through dying, MJ was absolved of anything he was ever accused of and is now being treated like some sort of god in the media. It’s ludicrous. Thriller is cool and all, but that’s about it. Anyway, This is It came nowhere near its outlandish expectations this weekend, raking in a pretty weak 21 million. A far cry from some predictions. It launched on Wednesday, so it has a grand total of around 32.5 million, still not anything special. Let’s compare this to another concert film: Hannah Montana. Miss Miley Cyrus completely destroyed MJ during opening weekend. Her concert flick made about 31 million, something it took This is It an extra two days to achieve. Though, it’s entirely possible that Miley’s rabid fanbase propelled that opening weekend to unusually high numbers. Granted, it sank like a rock after that weekend and This is It could very well have much better legs than Hannah Montana. Only time will tell.

Paranormal Activity

It’s somewhat ironic that Paranormal Activity’s gross decreased for the first time in weeks on Halloween weekend. Though, it’s understandable. Even still, it’s remarkable what the film has accomplished. With another 16.5 million this weekend, PA gets its grand total up to an astonishing 84.8 million. I do expect this to take a bit of a hit next weekend seeing as we’re past Halloween and all, but even still, it’s a definite lock for 100 million, something absolutely no one saw coming. This barely got a theatrical release at all. And now look it at. It’s come a long way from playing in just twelve theatres across the country.

Law Abiding Citizen actually goes up a spot to third, pulling in 7.3 million more. First, this opened bigger than expected. Now, it’s holding much better than expected. Just weird. A gross thus far of 51 million is way beyond what I would’ve expected. It could probably ultimately work up to about 65 or 70 million or so. Pretty solid.

Another 6.1 million lifts Couples Retreat up to 86.7 million. For such a critically reviled flick, this has been doing pretty decently. I think it might just be able to inch its way to 100 million.

Saw VI plummets 61% to 5.6 million. The total is now at 22.8 million, well shy of merely the opening weekend of the last Saw flick. Can we officially declare this franchise dead now? People are obviously fucking tired of it.

Wow, people fucking hate Where the Wild Things Are. It fell 64% this weekend after a similarly large drop last weekend. 5 million more brings the total to 61.8 million, which just kind of sucks. I really thought this would at least get over 100 million. Damn.

The Stepfather: 3.4 million weekend. 24.7 million total. Why does this movie even exist?

Yep, anime will never, ever do well at the box office. Astro Boy plummeted 55% to about three million. With a gross of only about 11 million against a budget of 65 million, this is a huge loss for Summit. They’re probably not worried, though, because New Moon will make back all this money and then some.

Amelia, a surprisingly hated film, continues to suck. Hilary Swank is a really ugly woman. Just saying. Three million this weekend and the gross stands at 8.3 million. Pretty shitty.

Much like Astro Boy, Cirque du Freak gets hit hard. Falling 55% down to 2.8 million, its sum is a shitty 10.5 million. Guess vampires aren’t infallible. Then again, people these days want their vampires exceedingly good looking and sensitive and “human,” all the opposites of what vampires should really be. It annoys me, all this vampire bullshit. And, yet, I actually find myself excited to go see New Moon. I make no sense. Whatever.

Yeah, so This is It underwhelmed quite a lot, much like I predicted it would. Usually when I make a gamble with my predictions and go against the grain, I’m way off, but this one was spot on. I’m awesome, aren’t I? In stark contrast to this weekend which featured only one wide release, next weekend has four: A mildly interesting movie starring Cameron Diaz and Cyclops about getting a million dollars for killing someone random called The Box, a creepy looking alien movie starring Milla Jovovich entitled The Fourth Kind, another mildly interesting flick with a stacked cast, The Men Who Stare at Goats, and the requisite first-weekend-of-November-released-too-early-for-its-own-good Christmas movie, A Christmas Carol. That was one hell of a run on sentence. Sorry. I think A Christmas Carol should sufficiently shit all over the other three openers. I honestly think its potential is being underestimated. But that’s just me. I’m usually wrong, but if This is It has shown me anything, it’s that I can make a really good box office call every now and then.