By Lundin’ Bridge

Bohemian Rhapsody is regarded as one of the greatest rock songs of all-time and definitely ranks in the top three of Queen’s best hits (I’d put it at number one but I won’t be biased). But what makes this song so great.? Is it Freddy Mercury’s untouchable vocal range that bares comparison with Biblical angels? Is it the musical journey of relaxed piano to rocking guitar with lyrics to fill each instrumental mood? Is it Michael Myer;s rendition in Wayne’s World? Well, yes. It doesn’t matter what type of music you listen to or even if you like Queen, everyone knows the words to this song and holds a special place for it someone in their hearts. Whenever this song is played in a crowded room it get’s sung louder then the first line to “Don’t Stop Believin’”. Anyway, first let me tell you what I mean by each band having their own “Bohemian Rhapsody”. Bohemian Rhapsody is one of the best if not the best song that Queen has every produced. What makes it unique is that it doesn’t follow the parameters of a typical song. Most songs tend to follow the typical pattern of: Intro, Verse I, Verse II, Bridge, Chorus, Verse III, Bridge, Refrain, Refrain, etc .A song like Bohemian Rhapsody tends to be a longer song and has different unique parts throughout it. Take for instance how Bohemian Rhapsody starts off slower and more relaxed with vocals and piano and slowly builds into a climactic 180 turnaround rock ending, and lastly incorporates a slow final line or two at the end. The song could have easily been made into two or maybe even three separate songs. The song was definitely unique to Queen (and Wayne’s World among other movies) and definitely helped out them on the map. Now think about your favorite bands. Can you see where they all seem to have one or two songs that fit into this “Bohemian Rhapsody” category?  Let me take you through some of my favorite bands to help you see what I mean.

AC/DC: Hells Bells (5:12)

AC/DC is regarded as probably the best rock band of this generation. Though their music consists of basic riffs, drum lines (ESPECIALLY THE DRUM LINES), and lyrics, they’re still damn good at what they do and have a ton of singles. It becomes obvious of their repetitive and simple music style when you listen to a lot of AC/DC, but each song in itself is excellent. Anyway, the best example of AC/DC’s “B.R” is Hells Bells. The opening begins with low bells in the distance and with Trevor Hoffman enters in from the bullpen before it slowly adds guitar and drums while getting into the bulk of the song. It ends some wicked guitar solos before coming to a close. It’s an excellent song and definitely falls into this type of category. PS, I hope you all got the reference to Padres closer Trevor Hoffman.

Aerosmith: Cryin’ (5:09)

You can’t spell rock without Aerosmith. Steven Tyler has one of the most recognizable voices in the music industry, and probably the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen to go along with it. Anyway, Cryin’ exemplifies a “B.R”. It goes from slow to fast from rock to roll and everything in between. Plus there’s harmonica in it. It’s an excellent song with many different aspects that each has great build ups into the next part. A job well done.

Alice In Chains: Rooster (6:16)

Alice In Chains is definitely one of the top three bands of the grunge era and sparked many other bands to follow in their footsteps. Their sound both musically and vocally was very unique and helped make them the face of music in the early 90′s. I think Rooster is Alice In Chains best example of a “B.R”. The song starts off very laid back with faint guitar and drums before it takes off around the 2:00 mark, helped of course by Layne Staley and an added guitar solo. The song closes as laid back as it opened which adds a nice finishing touch.

Angels and Airwaves: The Adventure (5:41)

Is this Blink 182? Oh, it sounded a lot like them.. Blink 182′s lead singer Tom DeLonge sings for this band that’s why! Though The Adventure is probably their best song, it still falls under the “B.R” category. It starts off with a great build up into lyrics and drums and sometimes varies from full band to just DeLonge. Definitely a great song.

Avril Lavigne: Keep Holding On (4:12)

Avril Lavigne is in my top 3 best female vocalist of all-time (the other two will be further down the list) This is her “Bohemian Rhapsody”.

The Beach Boys: Good Vibrations (3:37)

The Beach Boys epitomize summer, surfing, and all that stuff from the 60′s. They have many classics about surfing, girls from California, and cars. That’s basically it for 30 or so songs. They’re like the AC/DC in that repetitive regard. Anyway, Good Vibrations is their “B.R”. It’s actually their longest song. Keep in mind most of their songs average like 2:00 minutes. Good Vibrations is all over the place. Slow, psychedelic, catchy, harmonic, and psychedelic again. Even after all that, it’s still good.

The Beatles: Hey Jude (7:10)

The Beatles are the best band of all-time, no questions asked. Regardless of what type of music you like, when you step back and look at what The Beatles accomplished and the records they hold in the music industry there’s no contest. I’m not trying to be biased, it’s just common knowledge. Well enough of that I don’t want to get started. Anyway Hey Jude. You’ve all heard it. You know the nah, nah nah nah nah nah nah, nah nah nah nah, hey Jude goes on for 3 minutes. But this is The Beatles “B.R”. It starts off easy and relaxed, leading to the build up we all know and love. If you’ve never heard the song or think The Beatles suck, don’t read my blog. =)

Billy Joel: Scenes From An Italian Restaurant (7:37)

I love Billy Joel. Course I’m a sucker for a good piano song and he probably has the most famous piano song of all time. Even so, I like a lot of his songs regardless of this fact. The song that stands out as his “Bohemian Rhapsody” is S.F.A.I.R. The song is could really be split up into two songs if Billy really wanted. It starts off very slow about the restaurant and wine and dining there, then picks up to tell about this girls life, then slows down again getting back to the restaurant. It’s really an excellent song and it flows very well.

Black Sabbath: War Pigs (7:58)

What?! Not Iron Man?! No. War Pigs. Get over it. Black Sabbath is great as long as Ozzy is there. I still don’t know how Ozzy Osbourne gets up in the morning.. Anyway, there’s many different aspects to this song including sick solos and great riffs and superb drumming to fulfill the “B.R” category.

Blink-182: Adam’s Song (4:10)

I really like Blink-182 even though people tend to give them a bad rap. Travis Barker is definitely the best drummer of this century (2000′s) and the singer has a unique voice that gives Blink their noticeable sound. Anyway, I think Adam’s Song has most “B.R” qualities. It starts off with the familiar guitar riff and kinda stays at a slower place until it takes off into the trademark rock Blink sound in the chorus. It alternates back and forth to these sounds and makes for a great song.

Bon Jovi: Wanted (Dead or Alive) (5:11)

Ah Bon Jovi, the only bright spot to come outta New Jersey. He’s got many great hits and has looked the same for 30 years. He’s starting to move more toward the country side of things and less away from his rock sound which I’m definitely not happy about but whatever. Anyway, Wanted Dead or Alive is it here. Starts off sounding like “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac (they really do have pretty much the same beginning) and builds up throughout. It’s a good song and everyone knows it.

Boys Like Girls: Two Is Better Than One (4:03)

Not too found of the name but I really like this band. Great use of harmony and drums in their songs, especially in this one with some help from Taylor Swift. Her voice really puts the icing on the cake to this song. It starts off slow and acoustic before building in the middle to some great vocals and instrumentals. Excellent.

Bruce Springsteen: Born To Run (4:31)

I lied, this makes two good things to come out of Jersey. What can you say about “The Boss”? He’s had his trademark raspy voice since 6th grade. Great songs, and Born To Run is no exception and is his “B.R”. One of the unique parts of this song is ironically his voice which speeds up and slows down during certain part. Well done instrumentals also accompany him to make this a great song.

Bryan Adams: Everything I Do, I Do It For You (6:34)

Did I mention I love piano? Bryan Adams has been tugging on the heart-strings for year, and this is his “B.R”. Starts off slow, and eventually midway through the song he takes off vocally and instrumentally into a rock frenzy. Then it ends with some well-placed solos and some closing vocals. Even though it’s long he keeps the listeners entertained. Good stuff.

Chicago: Beginnings (7:51)

Almost all of you probably have no fucking idea who Chicago are. Well they’re my dad’s favorite band so I know a lot of their stuff. They’re a band from the 70′s who use harmony and horns interested riffs to create their music. Here’s their song.

Coldplay: Fix You (4:56)

Coldplay is a great band that sometimes goes under the radar. They have perfected the use of piano and their songs and complement it with great vocals and music. I think Fix You is their Bohemian Rhapsody. It starts off with piano and vocals (with really good lyrics) and slowly builds up (if you’ve seen the music video it’s when he starts running to the arena) into an excellent ending that really could be a song in itself.

Counting Crows: Up All Night (5:08)

Ah, cornrows. Have a couple of drinks and blast this song and you’ll understand why I chose it.

Creed: My Sacrifice (4:46)

Not many people like Creed. I don’t think they’re half bad. Maybe people don’t like the religious theme behind their songs or something. This is their B.R. They do a good job of using rocking out and toning it down at different parts.

Creedence Clearwater Revival: Proud Mary (3:09)

CCR is classic rock. They piss excellence all over the faces of Lynyrd Skynyrd. They have several great songs but it’s hard to pick their “B.R” because most of their songs don’t exceed three minutes and don’t have many parts. I’m gonna go with Proud Mary here, simply because many people think the song is called “Rollin’ On A River”. Please don’t insult yourselves. It has a couple of good solos that make this a great song that Tina Turner does NOT do justice.

Dave Matthews Band: <Insert Choice Here>

DMB is well liked by many. Me, not so much. I’ll give them one thing, their sound is very unique. They use many instruments that most bands wouldn’t dream of using. However, I think their songs, though unique, are very sporadic. Sometimes I have no idea what the chorus is. In this instance, too many songs can be considered their “B.R” and I simply don’t like them enough to pick one.

The Doors: Light My Fire (7:07)

The Doors are a great band they figured out that piano (or in this case an organ) would sound great in their songs. That and they weren’t afraid to go against The Ed Sullivan Show and play their song unedited. Light My Fire is their “B.R” because of it’s four plus minute jam using organ than guitar before its end.

The Eagles: Hotel California (6:32)

Their best song also happens to be their “Bohemian Rhapsody”. If you’re ever at a fair odds are you’ll hear the band cover this song. It’s well done.

Elton John: Tiny Dancer (6:15)

I really like Elton John. I saw him live and he put on a great show for like three hours. This was a tough decision between this and “Levon” but I went with this because of the different bridges he uses before the chorus. Good stuff.

Elvis Presley: Suspicious Minds (4:32)

This was one of Elvis’s last good songs before he got to fat and drugged up to do anything productive. This is his “B.R”, better late than never.

Eric Clapton: Layla (4:46)

Yeah, I know Layla was originally sung by Derek and the Dominoes, but I’m going to assume most readers had no idea of that. However, I’m going to win here on a technicality and sight Clapton’s unplugged version of Layla. Layla is a great song with a lot of story behind it (see Pattie Boyd. who was the subject of some of the greatest songs of all-time). The original version is awesome, with three minutes of rocking out and four minutes of an excellent piano solo. The unplugged version was well-done and has some added parts courteously of Clapton god-like guitar skills. That and the song is three minutes shorter unplugged.

Five For Fighting: 100 Years (4:11)

Before The Fray there was Five For Fighting. This song is excellent and tells a great story of, you guessed it, 100 years of life. The pace of the songs varies and makes for a great song.

Fleetwood Mac: The Chain (5:11)

Another one of my dad’s favorites. Stevie Nicks has had the same voice sound for the past 30 years. I didn’t originally have this song up here because I don’t give it enough of a chance because it has almost the same beginning as “Wanted: Dead or Alive”. However as mentioned in a comment below, The Chain is “a song which sounds differently than their other songs and is actually a mish-mash of other pieces of songs. It features one of the most distinctive bass lines and is one of their most covered and recognizable hits.” That being said, The Chain is their “B.R”.

Foo Fighters: Come Back (7:36)

The Foo Fighters are surprisingly very good considering they started with a drummer writing all of the stuff for their first CD. They managed to put together a group that has put together several good songs. This song has been chosen as their “B.R” by fellow Chez writer dukemich, who eats and drinks (notice I left out sleeps) Foo Fighters. The song has very distinct parts to it which all flow very well together into a great song.

Frank Sinatra: My Way (4:38)

Old Blue Eyes just builds and builds in his songs until just when you think you can’t take it anymore he bursts into the final chorus and you’re left satisfied. Plus he put New York on the map long before Jay-Z. Here’s his “B.R”.

The Fray: Never Say Never (4:19)

The Fray has managed to stay popular by only using three instruments. Somehow they continue to pump out hits. Their use of piano always amazes me along with everything else. In this song they start relaxed and build into some great choruses and solos to add to the all-out ending to make it their “B.R”.

Goo Goo Dolls: Iris (4:54)

The Goo Goo Dolls hit the map in the 90′s with a ton of hits and continue to rock out even though the members are in their 40′s. I saw them live this year and they blew the roof off the place. Iris is probably their best song and I think it has to be their “B.R” too. The song goes from easy acoustic to a rocked out chorus and several solos and buildups. Everyone knows this song.

Green Day: Wake Me Up When September Ends (4:45)

Green Day is a great band. Maybe not great enough to warrant their own Rock Band game but great nonetheless. Here is their “B.R”. It starts off very slow and proceeds to build up into a great song. It’s also a great reminder to wake someone up in time for October.

Guns N’ Roses: November Rain (8:56)

Here’s a no brainer. GNR takes a step back from their usual rock and tunes it down into this ballad type song with amazing riffs from Slash.

Heart: Crazy On You (4:53)

Heart? Yeah why not. Here’s there “B.R”. They start with acoustic guitar and then finally get to rocking. Heart has a pretty good vocalist and it makes them unique.

Hootie & The Blowfish: Let Her Cry (5:08)

Nothing wrong with some Hootie. This song is their “Bohemian Rhapsody”. There’s many different lyrical stanzas when Darius Rucker screams the last verse leading up to a great refrain.

Jack’s Mannequin: Hammers and Strings (4:44)

I fell in love with J.M when they came to my school for a concert. They’re not well-known on the radio but they should be. Anyway here’s their “B.R”. It starts off slow with patented Jack’s piano and then builds up to an excellent chorus. It slows down again and eventually builds up to the second chorus and ending. Excellent lyrics as well.

Jay-Z: Empire State of Mind (4:37)

Yes, even rappers have their “Bohemian Rhapsodys”. Jay-Z’s is Empire State of Mind because of the addition of Alicia Keys. Some people hate it but I think it makes the song.

Jimi Hendrix: Everything, because his guitar riffs are next to none.

John Mayer: Dreaming With A Broken Heart (4:08)

John Mayer is the Eric Clapton of the 2000s. I’d like him a lot more if his arms weren’t covered in tattoos. This song starts not with his trademark bluesy guitar but with a Coldplay like piano instrumental complete with his vocals. It builds up to the addition of his guitar and an intense ending that puts the icing on the cake.

John Mellencamp: I Need A Lover (5:38)

If you ever want to get in a patriotic mood John Mellencamp is your guy. I Need A Lover is basically Mellencamp rocking out. He uses great guitar and piano while screaming his vocals, sometimes relaxed and sometimes amped up. It’s a good song and fits the criteria of a “B.R”.

Journey: Separate Ways (5:26)

I love Journey, mostly because of Steve Perry’s voice. Why he thought he’d do better with a solo career (*cough JOHN LENNON *cough) is beyond me. Anyway this song is excellent. It’s a great rock song and the other side from Journey’s famous ballads. The guitar and drums are very rough and it’s the perfect song to just rock out to when you need it.

Kansas: Carry On My Wayward Son (5:21)

Another easy choice here. This song has like 4 separate guitar solos and has very unique parts from slow to fast and rock to roll. HA.

Keane: Somewhere Only We Know (3:57)

About a year before The Fray came on the scene there was Keane. This is their most popular song but it’s also their “B.R”. It’s well done and knows exactly when to speed up its tempo to make it sound great.

Kelly Clarkson: Breakaway (3:57)

Ahh, remember when American Idol used to produce good singers and not one hit wonders? Kelly Clarkson was the first winner of A.I and for good reason as she’s done quite well for herself. Here’s her “B.R”, a very good song if I do say so myself.

Led Zeppelin: Stairway To Heaven (8:00)

This was a very hard choice to make. Zeppelin is the greatest rock band of all-time and have many songs well over five minutes that can be called their “B.R”. But I couldn’t in good conscience say it was anything besides Stairway To Heaven. The song is absolutely fantastic. It starts off with familiar guitar and great lyrics until almost halfway through the rest of the band comes in and leads into a complete change in tempo and an amazing finish. Free Bird eat your heart out.

Lifehouse: Broken (4:47)

Lifehouse made a good effort to be better than the Goo Goo Dolls and came up short. They’re still good nonetheless and Broken is a good example of it. It’s not one of their heavier songs and starts off slower in the beginning before coming together in the middle to make a great ending. (I should have written this vague description about all of these..)

Matchbox 20: Bright Lights (3:55)

I sometimes forget how good Matchbox 20 is because they are no more, but they did have some good hits. Bright Lights is their “B.R”. It starts out with relaxed with some piano, then takes off into the chorus and great bridge, solo and ending.

Michael Jackson: Thriller (5:58)

I gotta do it.. Thriller is it. Why? Because of the laugh at the end. Just kidding, it actually has different parts to it and has the best music video of all time to go along with it.

Oasis: Champagne Supernova (7:28)

Yes, there’s more to Oasis than just “Wonderwall”. Oasis is actually a good band once you start listening to some of their other stuff. This song in question is good, good enough to be their “B.R”. It has several parts, as most songs tend to have that are over six minutes. Be that as it may, they put together a good song.

Ozzy Osbourne: No More Tears (7:24)

For a man who needs to take drugs just to function, he’s still put out some good music. This song is his “B.R.” It’s not really heavy, but still has a loud rock edge to it. Ironically Ozzy has pulled off a couple of good ballads in his career, but this on is his “Bohemian”.

Paramore: Let The Flames Begin (Live) (6:00)

Hayley Williams is definitely one of the top three best female vocalists. Fellow Chez write dukemich eats, drinks, sleeps and lives Paramore, so he helped me make this choice. This song is crazy played live. Definitely their “B.R”. The drums in the beginning are intense and then the song starts off slowly before the rocking begins. They alternate between that the rest of the song for one hell of a ride.

Paul McCartney: Band On the Run (5:14)

This song could have easily be split up into two. It starts off cool, calm and collected before in turns quite heavy in the middle and ends with a more relaxed finish. Well done by Paul.

Pearl Jam: Alive (5:41)

Pearl Jam is like alternative and grunge smushed together. They’re quite good and they’d be even better if you could understand the lyrics. They’re songs have many different parts, none more obvious than “Alive”. It’s very good with great instrumentals and tempo changes to lyrics that no one really knows.

Pink Floyd: Another Brick in the Wall (5:43)

Pink Floyd is good stuff. A change from the Zeppelins or Beatles of the 60′s and 70′s they produced quite a psychedelic sound. There’s a second part to this song but I’m picking the first part as their “B.R”. There’s kids screaming in this song, does it get much better than that?

The Police: Message In A Bottle (4:06)

No one can ever distinguish between whether a song is Sting or The Police. Who cares. This song always baffles me because you never know where it’s going to go. It has several distinct parts and epitomizes what the musical style of The Police was all about.

QUEEN: BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (5:53)

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus: You’re Guardian Angel (3:51)

R.J.A is terribly underrated. Too bad the radio played their 3rd best single off their CD. Ronnie Winter is one of the best vocalists I’ve ever heard. He can go from intense screaming to harmony all in the same song. “Your Guardian Angel” is one you may have missed and one of their best songs. The song starts out acoustic, nice and easy, until almost three-quarters through it they go off. A very intense ending for the final minute and a half is the perfect finish to this song.

REO Speedwagon: Like You Do (Live) (6:53)

I know REO like the back of my hand. They were the first band I really immersed myself into. The studio version of this song is dreadful but the live version does it justice. The guitar  and keyboard solos in this song are fantastic and the tempo changes really make this a great song.

The Rolling Stones: Sympathy For The Devil (6:28)

What’s surprising to me is that The Stones are still kicking. This song is very unique. You can’t be sure where it’s headed. People screaming “Wooo Wooo” and sick guitar riffs? Sounds like a “B.R” to me.

Simple Plan: I Can Wait Forever (4:54)

Another band that has good stuff that sometimes goes under the radar. This song is quite good and builds into a strong chorus after more laid back verses.

Stevie Wonder: Superstition (3:59)

Stevie Wonder is awesome. His musical insight is next to none. And he wrote a song that has the prefect beginning to walking or driving down a very long street. He rocks out in this song and does a great job in doing so.

Styx: Come Sail Away (6:03)

Styx is a great band and there’s no surprises here that this is their “Bohemian”. You think the song isn’t going to stay at a slow place until the midway point where they add other instruments to the piano and take off into the familiar chorus.

Taylor Swift: Love Story (3:56)

I love Taylor Swift. She is definitely in the top three female vocalist list. Some people who have known her say she was a bitch and I can’t refute that, but that doesn’t stop my crush for Taylor Swift. I won’t get in to how great her writing ability is or how catchy her songs are or how great she looks. But what I will tell you is Love Story is her “Bohemian Rhapsody”. The tempo change in this song is fantastic. At one point she doesn’t take a breath for a good 30 seconds. The song gives a perfect portrayal of her story and makes for one of her best written songs.

Third Eye Blind: Semi-Charmed Life (4:29)

Another band that attempted to top the Goo Goo Dolls. Good effort but not good enough. 3eb is still a great band. I chose this song because it has many different unique parts to it, which makes it a bitch to play with any instrument. The lyrics go at a crazy pace but everything about this song somehow makes sense.

U2: City of Blinding Lights (5:48)

U2 is famous. I don’t really care for them but there you have it. We’ve all heard this song in several commercials. The build-up in the beginning before any actual words are sung is a nice touch, and Bono does his thing throughout.

Van Halen: Right Now (5:22)

I’m a decent Van Halen fan. I like how they can rock really hard and then take a step back and woo (yes woo) with a ballad. I think this song is their “B.R” you don’t really know where it’s going to go in the beginning while the piano plays, but once the chorus comes you;re ready to go. And of course it wouldn’t be Van Halen without some sick guitar solos thrown in as well.

The Verve: Bittersweet Symphony (5:58)

I wasn’t going to include The Verve because I don’t really care for them, but this song is a great example of a present day “Bohemian”. There’s violin in the beginning. And it actually works really well. The build-up into the first verse of this song is very well-known and with good reason. This song really has no holes. It flows from one verse to the next with excellent precision. Oh yeahh.

We The Kings: We’ll Be A Dream (3:53)

Just like Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, for some reason We The Kings is terribly underrated. I’ll give them the plug they deserve though. This is their newest single with some help from Demi Lovato. She is a nice addition to this song and really helps give it great harmony throughout.

The Who: Won’t Get Fooled Again (8:33)

The Who are an excellent Classic Rock band, but shouldn’t play at anymore Super Bowls. On that note, this song choice for their “Bohemian Rhapsody” was quite a no brainer. This song someone manages to keep a pattern while going all over the place. The drums in this song are ridiculous. There’s no stopping throughout the whole song. The guitar solos and instrumentals are excellent and the lyrics have a lot of meaning to them as well. This definitely helped put The Who (and CSI) on the map.

So there you have it folks. Sorry it took so long, but as you can see just about every artist has their own form of a “Bohemian Rhapsody”. I tried to be a thorough as I could but if I missed any of your favorite artists and their “Bohemian Rhapsodies” or you disagree on any of my choices please feel free to comment below. Good day.

I SAID GOOD DAY!

Now that the holidays are over, I think it’s time to discuss the whole “Merry Christmas”/”Happy Holidays” debate. In recent years, culture has decided that in order to be politically correct we must wish people a “Happy Holidays” around holiday time rather than a “Merry Christmas”, as this might offend some people. Really? It amazes me that every year we as a culture seem to be moving farther and farther away from the origins of Christmas. Religious aspects of the holiday have been thrown out the window for a media and cultural obsession that starts a little before Thanksgiving and progressively tampers out so that when Christmas finally comes people are ready for the next big holiday. “Merry Christmas” is like a Mom and Pop shop slowly going out of business as the “Happy Holidays” conglomerate dominates everything in its path. People have gone so far as to try and change the names of Christmas Trees to Holiday Trees. Are you fucking serious? I better stop before I get off topic.

Here’s my argument, do with it as you will. To wish someone a “Merry Christmas” is (or at least should be) in no way an offensive remark. It simply means that during this time one person wishes another person happiness and good fortune, etc. This is never a negative statement. If someone means it as a negative statement, they should be left alone in a room with eight ravenous reindeer. I digress. My point then is that no one should be offended when someone wishes a “Merry Christmas”. So what if you’re not Catholic? First off, if it weren’t for Christianity there wouldn’t be Christmas but that’s a different story. By wishing someone a “Merry Christmas”, I am not force feeding the Catholic faith down your throat. I simply wish you to have a nice couple of weeks during the holiday season. Likewise, if a Jewish person wishes me a “Happy Hanukkah”, there is absolutely no reason to get offended. They are simply wishing the same thing. There should be no problem in someone responding back “Merry Christmas”.  Both parties wish upon one another a happy holiday (without actually saying it), and both parties leave knowing that one member was probably Jewish and the other was probably Catholic. End of story. As for Kwanzaa,…

Just kidding. Kwanzaa is incredibly frustrating to me. This is not meant to be racist, but Kwanzaa is not a holiday. It’s basically like Black History Month (which is another frustrating issue), for one week. Kwanzaa was not created to celebrate a religion, it  was created to celebrate a race. What the fuck is that? That’s why people have festivals or parades, not holidays! How the hell can someone wish you a “Happy Kwanzaa?” That’s like saying, “Hey, have a happy Italians!” or “Happy Irish!” It’s absolutely ridiculous. But again, I digress.

As far as “Happy Holidays” is concerned, I think it should only be used by those who do not practice any religion and do not view Christmas as a religious day. In that circumstance, wishing someone a “Merry Christmas” would just be a contradiction because the person doesn’t give a shit about the religious aspect, they just want the gifts. Hypocrites. Anyway,for people who have any faith in God whatsoever, please stop with the “Happy Holidays” like you’re on the politically correct committee. If you don’t like the phrase “Merry Christmas”, or Jesus Christ, or Christmas Trees, or if you want all of man-kind to never have happiness, then go home, and shut the fuck up. We don’t want to hear your complaining about it.

As you can see, I get very worked up over this issue. I can’t imagine how drastically things may change in a few decades however. Will the holiday still be called Christmas? Will there still even be a Santa? Will Christmas just become an exchanging of gifts with no subsequent meanings behind them? I try not to think about it. But I hope I don;t have to tell my grandkids the story about how when I was a kid, we used to say “Merry Christmas”.

By: Lundin’ Bridge

The Madden football video game has been around for about 20 years, my entire lifespan. It has been the most popular football game to have ever been created and sells more and more copies each year. Up until 1999, John Madden had always been on the cover of this beloved game. That was until EA Sports decided that they would put the previous year’s best player on that year’s cover. Sounds like a good idea. After all, shouldn’t the best player in the NFL get some recognition? Well, it hasn’t worked so well. (Please enjoy the music below as you read.)

The Madden Curse is a supposed myth among football stating that if you appear on the cover for the next installment of the Madden video game your performance will suffer that season. Now for some, this may seem like utter bullshit. How can a video game dictate the performance of a player who was just coming off one of the greatest seasons of their career? It sounds completely far-fetched. Don’t believe me? Let’s take a look then shall we? Keep in mind while reading that the year the cover came out is a year ahead of current time. (Thus, the Madden 2010 cover is really covering the 2009-2010 season)

- The first year of the Maddenless cover was occupied by Garrison Hearst, though he was only on select covers. That year (1998), Hearst was outstanding, finishing third in rushing yards. That seems innocent enough. However, in the Divisional playoffs against the Falcons, Hearst severely broke his ankle, causing him to miss two full seasons in the NFL.

Well okay, that was just a freak accident. Things happen. Or do they?

- For this cover Madden is the main figure depicted. However if you look over his left shoulder, you see Barry Sanders, the best RB in the NFL at the time. When the cover was made, Sanders was still in the NFL at the peak of his career. When the cover was released, Sanders had already abruptly retired (1999). Green Bay’s RB Dorsey Levens was put on later releases but had knee trouble throughout the season.

Now, why would Barry Sanders abruptly retire after just turning 30 and having the best years of his career? He claims he retired because he was on the hapless Lions (which is understandable) but is it more than a coincidence?

- Next, we have Eddie George, the Titans running back who, along with Steve McNair, made the Titans a powerhouse. That year (2000) George did pretty well for himself until the playoffs, when he bobbled a pass against the Ravens that got intercepted and returned for a touchdown and cost them the game. Whoops.George was only average the next year and failed to break 1,000 yards. The Titans missed the playoffs after going 7-9, and George was never the same after that.

Still doubting?

- Daunte Culpepper’s turn. For a time, the Vikings were unstoppable, having Culpepper at QB with Randy Moss and Hall of Famer Cris Carter as its receivers. That all changed in 2001. Culpepper’s knee blew out after a sub-par 4-7 start and he threw for 1,300 less yards and had 19 less touchdowns  than the previous year(14 TDs – 13 INTs). The Vikings finished the year with a 5-11 record, its worst record since 1984.

Culpepper was one of the best QBs in the NFL. Not only did he have a gun for an arm, but he could scramble for yards and buy more time in the pocket. After Madden, Culpepper was never even close to what he once was and now is a washed up version of himself, sitting on the bench.

- Marshall Faulk. Super Bowl champion. Outstanding resume for a young player. The game’s best RB. And then he went downhill. After gracing Madden, Faulk  rushed for 430 less yards and had four less touchdowns compared to 2001, even though he played the same amount of games. It was Faulk’s worst season since 1996, and because of ankle injuries  throughout his career, he would never amass his once great running skills.

Yet another one bites the dust at the prime of their career. You’ll probably recognize the next fellow. Perhaps he’ll fare better?

- (Drum roll please) Hereeeee’s Michael Vick. Before we get into the dog fighting scandal, let’s take a look at 2003, a year after Michael Vick was aweing us with his play. In ’03, ONE DAY after Madden hit the shelves, Vick broke his fibula and missed 11 games. He only played 5 games and the Falcons went 5-11.

Vick had incredible promise after coming out of VT, but this injury, along with a little scuffle with some pit bulls, caused Vick to lose his magic. Who knows if he’ll ever be the same.

- Ray Lewis was the next to grace the cover. Now you may be saying yourself, well Ray is still one of the games best. However, in 2004, he had no interceptions for the first time in his career.

He may have gotten away easy, but he still was affected. And who could forget when he killed that girl and got away with it..

For this cover, Donovan McNabb got the call. McNabb was certain that he would not succumb to this well-known curse. Nice try Donovan. McNabb suffered a sports hernia in week 9 that caused him to miss the rest of the season. Not only did the Eagles not make the playoffs for the first time since ’99, but they finished in last place in their division with the record of 6-10.

McNabb hasn’t really done much for the Eagles since then and can never seem to get his team to the Super Bowl. Considering how hostile Philly fans are, he may not have much longer in the Green and White.

STILL DON”T BELIEVE ME?

- Next up, Shaun Alexander, who was coming off the best season of his career and would be the most sought after running back in fantasy football. You may remember he broke the single season touchdown record? Well in 2006, instead of breaking another record, he broke his foot. He had the lowest stats of his career since his rookie season and would later be cut by the Seahawks.

Franchise player? Not after Madden.

- After fans voted off LaDainian Tomlinson in fear of the curse, Vince Young took over as a replacement for this cover. Young threw 17 INTs to go with his 9 touchdowns, which isn’t terrible. However, Vince seemed to lose his mind during the off-season and lost his job to the elder Kerry Collins.

A once promising QB is now a mystery to the Titans.

- In honor of his famed career, EA Sports picked Brett Favre to graze the cover even though he was retired at the time. But as we all know, Brett Favre doesn’t retire. Favre led the Jets to an 8-3 record, which was good, but supposedly injured his shoulder somewhere in the middle of the season. Whatever the excuse may be, Favre absolutely sucked down the stretch and the Jets missed the playoffs with a 9-7 record.

Not a good idea to put a senior citizen QB on the cover with the curse going around.

- And so we come to this year. For the first time in Madden history, two players were put on the cover: Larry Fitzgerald and Troy Polamalu. Would these two offensive and defensive powerhouses break the curse? Well, they’re already half way there to another cursed cover. Polamalu suffered a sprained MCL during the first game of the year against the Titans and will be out for 3-6 weeks if all goes well. Who knows how his play will suffer after his return.

Thus concludes the current facts of the Madden curse. Once a player hits the cover he most surely will suffer a setback. Some have fared better than others, but all have succumbed to the curse. Some people may still say that this is just a series of unfortunate coincidences and that the curse doesn’t exist. That may be so, but I wouldn’t want to be Larry Fitzgerald right now. And looking ahead, I wouldn’t want to be Adrian Peterson either. He may be the victim for 2011.

As more 2003 steroid users were recently announced (Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz), more questions surface as to who hasn’t taken steroids? It seems like whenever you turn on ESPN these days there’s a developing story of yet another major leaguer who’s be accused of juicing. It’s becoming more and more difficult for fans to put the Steroid Era in the past when reports continue to surface, most notably from the anonymous steroid tests given in 2003.

Just in case you’ve been living under a rock for the past year, I’ll refresh your memory as to what’s been going on in Major League Baseball. In 2003, Major League Baseball decided that they would implement a drug test to see if future random drug testing would be needed. The test takers were told that the results would be anonymous and it would be strictly for research purposes. Okay, good idea. There was some word going around that players were taking supplements to enhance their play and it was time to start buckling down on it. Flash-forward five or six years. Jose Canseco comes out of the steroids closet and admits to using steroids. Okay that was  foreseeable. Still startling but it wasn’t that hard to swallow. Until Canseco released his book, Juiced, siting several famous players for using performance enhancing drugs. Wow. This can’t be true, look at all those names.. Our idols! Our role models! It couldn’t possibly be. Until it was. Famous names started to become associated with steroids. Mark McGuire. Barry Bonds. Sammy Sosa. Well that was predictable, you could see their on-field production and muscle progression increase over their careers. Rafael Palmiero. Miguel Tejada. Ivan Rodriguez. Wow.. Damn Mexicans. Roger Clemens. A-Rod. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Who can we believe?! The 2003 test results began getting leaked, and the 104 players who tested positive for steroids were now becoming known. Turns out Canseco was right all along, and this time in baseball would forever be known as “The Steroid Era”.

So now that you know what’s going on, it’s time to rant. What the fuck is wrong with people? Let’s start with Manny. Manny being Manny. Could he be Manny without steroids? As you know, Manny was suspended for 50 games by Major League Baseball for taking a female utility drug, known to erase previous use of steroids. No, that wasn’t a copy and paste error, he really did take that. And if that wasn’t enough, his name was recently associated with said 104 steroid users. When asked, Manny couldn’t give two shits. Well that’s great Manny, glad to see that you have no problems cheating baseball. Next, Manny’s counterpart for several years in Boston, David Ortiz. One of the most outspoken players against steroid use. Big fucking Papi. Or should I say big after he left the Twins because he couldn’t hit the fucking broad side of a barn and was no bigger than Chuck Knoblauch. Was it Manny who made Papi big? He must’ve, cause with Manny gone this year Papi went 200 plus at bats without a home run and he’s having one of his worst years since the Twins (coincidence?). It’s nice to know that the Red Sox won their first World Series in 86 years while their two best players were on steroids. Congratulations.

Sometimes it’s easy to recognize that a guy’s been on ‘roids. Barry Bonds sucked in the beginning of his career, but as his head grew bigger so did his home run count. McGuire could probably crack a bat in his biceps while he “raced for the record” with Sammy Sosa. However, who would have thought guys like Roger Clemens? Alex Rodriguez? These guys are work horses, like 24/7 work horses that worked their ass off to be the best at the game. If they were on steroids, who the hell isn’t?

I love baseball, and I’m hoping that the Steroid Era can one day be put behind us, not only for the sake of the fans, but for the sake of Major League Baseball. So many questions are left unanswered, like 1.) What records were truly earned? and 2.) Should these players be allowed in the Hall of Fame? This may be the hardest question that officials will have to answer. Some of the people that took steroids still had a natural talent for the game of baseball and probably could have come close to what they did on steroids if they didn’t use them at all. It’s the players that were just mediocre and became great because of steroid use that will pose the most difficulty. And who’s to say? I don’t think anyone will be able to answer these questions. Thus, an asterisk will always tarnish this era of baseball history. The only thing that will always remain a constant is this: one of the greatest players in baseball history, Babe Ruth, was also on steroids. His performance enhancing drugs? Beer, hot dogs, and women. Let’s see Barry Bonds hit 763 home runs with that.

By: Lundin’ Bridge

After months and months of waiting and fickle decisions, Brett Favre finally announced his retirement today. Again. It seems like just yesterday when we watched the ESPN slide show paying homage to Favre’s career. Oh wait it was yesterday. And last week. And the week before that. See a pattern here? I regard Brett Favre as one of the best quarterbacks to ever play in the NFL. He’s definitely going to be a first ballot hall of famer. His inability to accept retirement will probably be the only sour spot of his career. But how does this compare with Roger Clemens?

The answer of course is Steroids. Just kidding. In comparison. both players were the top athletes in the respective sport for many years. As we saw with Roger Clemens, when writers and fans speculated he would retire, he made the decision to do so. But then he un-retired and signed with the Astros (after some coaxing from Andy Pettite) and won the Cy Young. So he came back the next year and posted a sick ERA but got no run support and didn’t do anything in the postseason. Then in ’06 he un-retired again, this time midway through the year, and didn’t really do that much exciting. After another comeback midway through the ’07 season, this time as a Yankee, a shitty ERA and a bad hamstring finally put Clemens away for good. Along with the steroid scandal of course.

On to Brett Favre. 16 seasons with the Green Bay Packers. Impeccable career. The face of the franchise. So when Favre tearfully announced his retirement in March of ’08, everyone was shocked. Until July, when the shock turned to excitement because Favre was slated for a comeback. And then more shock when he said he wanted out of Green Bay. Then after some name calling and an ugly parting of ways, Brett Favre put on a Jets uniform to start the ’08 season. After leading his team to an 8-3 record, the Jets lost four out of their last five games of the season and didn’t make the playoffs. Ouch. So was this it for Favre? He again retired February, but in May was granted release from the Jets and had arthroscopic surgery on his shoulder to again work toward a comeback. Favre told the Vikings he was interested in playing for them, but to hold their horses cause he wasn’t completely sure he wanted to play yet. So the Vikings bowed down to Favre. Week after week, his decision was prolonged longer and longer. ESPN somehow managed to scrounge up enough information to gave us day by day coverage of what was up with Brett Favre. Until today of course, when Brett Favre decided enough is enough, and his career slide show was played again. He nsaid he could’t handle the physical strain on his arm and body for a whole season anymore. But you can never say never with Brett Favre.

So the question is, will Favre follow in Clemens footsteps come October or November and decide he wants to play again, if only for half a season? Will a team sign him for only half a season? Only time will tell. I would have liked to see my boyhood idols like Michael Jordan and Clemens retire when they were on top of their game. That ship has likewise sailed for Favre. Perhaps he will finally take his losses and retire from the NFL before we remember him as the guy who overstayed his welcome and not as an MVP for the Packers. But one thing is for sure. One never knows when it comes to Brett Favre.

Can't Stop Rockin' Tour 2009

By Lundin’ Bridge

When it comes to 70′s rock bands, several names immediately come to mind. Anyone reading this can name at least five bands that fill up their iPods with countless hits. As a major classic rock fan and REO Speedwagon fan, I’ve been looking forward to this concert from the minute I heard about it. A concert featuring REO and Styx? In their prime, this concert would have been sold out within the day. This hasn’t been the first time for a venue like this either. REO has toured with rock greats such as Styx, Journey, and Boston for the past couple of decades. Luckily for me, this tour was coming to the Toyota Pavilion.

Since the Pavilion box office is only open 3 days a week (it must be so tiresome to count money and print out tickets) and the fact that I work a 40 hour week, I couldn’t buy the tickets until the day of the show. And since I worked the day before the Fourth of July (day in which my employment is closed) I couldn’t get out of work until a half hour before the show. Not a good way to start things off.

.38 Special

But Lundin’ Bridge, who was opening the show? Don’t worry everyone, it was only .38 Special. By the time I got up there, walked the mile of parking lot to the box office, bought the tickets, walked through the mud and sludge of the lawn to a decent place to stand, I was still in time to hear the only two .38 Special songs that I know: “Caught Up In You” and “Hold On Loosely”. And that was that for .38 Special. From what I heard they sounded good, but again I only knew of those two songs.

REO SPEEDWAGON

As more people began to fill the seats, the next band to take the stage was REO Speedwagon. As I already stated, I happen to be a huge REO fan. They remain one of the strongholds in my classic rock forte, and I know almost all of their songs. REO is led by vocalist Kevin Cronin, who continues to belt out the band’s ballads and hits. I must say, he doesn’t sound as good live. That’s not to say that he still isn’t good, but what you get on the CD is definitely differently from what you hear live. Along with Cronin, Bruce Hall (bass) and Neil Doughty (keyboards) close out the earliest members of REO. Dave Amato (lead guitar) and Bryan Hitt (drums) took over for Gary Richrath and Alan Gratzer to start the 90′s and REO has been the same ever since. They may be past their prime, but they still put on a helluva show. If you want a wordy review of how each song sounded, I don’t have time for that. However I’ll list you the songs and give a quick sum up of each. This may not be the exact order, and it may not be perfect, but it’s close enough so bear with me.

1. Don’t Let Him Go – great start to the show with Hitt on drums.
2. Take It On The Run – can’t go wrong with the hits
3. Keep Pushin’ – earlier hit, good choice for the concert because of the economy
4. Golden Country – from the earlier years, another song about our country
5. Son Of A Poor Man – again, an earlier hit dealing with our country
6. Time For Me To Fly – can’t go wrong with the hits
7. Back On The Road Again - bassist Bruce Hall belts this hit out
8. Keep On Loving You – can’t go wrong with the hits
9. Roll With The Changes – can’t go wrong with the hits

10. Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore – my favorite REO song

Encore (who saw that coming?)
11. Ridin’ The Storm Out – I never really cared for this song, but the intro sounds awesome
12. 157 Riverside Avenue – overkill. A good song but definitely unnecessary.

So overall, REO put on a good show. I love the hits and knew all the other songs so I was pleased. I wish they played newer songs rather than some earlier ones but overall it was definitely a great performance.

Styx

Because of my knowledge of classic rock, I’ve obviously heard my fair share of Styx. I’m definitely not as knowledgeable with Styx as with REO, but I know of most of their hits. Styx has most of their old band members, along with Tommy Shaw and their drummer, Todd Sucherman, who was named Drummer Magazine’s best drummer of 2009 (though I have no idea how they judge that). Styx however is without their lead singer Dennis Deyoung whose voice is distinct on many of their songs. Despite this fact, I had absolutely no idea that Deyoung wasn’t the singer of the concert. I didn’t know until afterwards that it was actually Lawrence Gowan (he was that good). It was like going to see Journey without Steve Perry but still loving every song like it was the original. So, along with a packed house (Styx clearly had the biggest crowd), I was ready to hear them play. Here’s there set list:

1. Heavy Water – decent
2. Too Much Time On My Hands – heavier song but well done
3. Grand Illusion – great show about an introduction to a show
4. Lorelei – great song
5. I Am The Walrus –  an awesome rendition of this Beatles hit. You really have to be good to try a Beatles song and this one was absolutely perfect
6. Blue Collar Man – awesome organ intro, you definitely know it’s Styx
7. (Suite) Madame Blue – good song
8. Miss America – hurray America
9. Fooling Yourself – great synth for a great song
10. Come Sail Away – my favorite Styx song, perfectly played for a raucous crowd

Encore (shocker!)
10. Renegade – perfect ending to a perfect night

After Renegade, REO came back out to join Styx and play their song Can’t Stop Rockin’, which is specifically written as a duet for when the two bands tour. However, I took this opportunity for an early exit rather than listen to it so I could get out of the Pavilion alive. In conclusion, myself and my accomplices determined that Styx definitely played the best overall. They sounded great, even without having their lead singer from yesteryear.  I love when bands sound just as good live as they do on their CDs. Some bands sound better live, but that’s pretty depressing isn’t it? I’m not saying that REO wasn’t great too. They put on an awesome show and can still pack quite a crowd.

So overall, this was an awesome concert for those who love classic rock and these particular bands. Even if you aren’t really into classic rock, you still would have enjoyed this show. After a $10.70 lawn ticket and enough mud on my flip-flopped feet to give a homeless Scranton man a run for his money, I left the concert thoroughly pleased. I can safely say that REO Speedwagon and Styx can definitely still keep on rockin’.

By Lundin’ Bridge

For my first post (finally), I thought I’d pay homage to perhaps the greatest cartoon/human film of all time. No I’m not talking about Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Or Ghostbusters. I’m of course talking about Space Jam.

In 1996, director Joe Pytka decided to take the most popular cartoon and NBA players of that time and throw them into a movie. And it worked. Who would have ever thought that Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, Patrick Ewing, Larry Johnson, Muggsy Bogues, and Larry Bird could be funny? (Notice I left out Shawn Bradley. He sucked in the NBA and he sucked in the movie. That’s the best white player they could have gotten? Really? Vlade Divac makes a brief appearance, they should have gotten him.) Then add Bill Murray and Newman from Seinfeld for witty comic relief and you’ve got yourself a masterpiece. Imagine if someone were to do that today. Let’s see.. The cast of Spongebob meets Lebron, Kobe, Dwight Howard, Shaq, and we’ll say Steve Nash as the white guy. Actually that would also be a fucking hilarious movie.. Regardless, no one expected the movie to have much of an impact. But I can guarantee that in a room full of kids who grew up in the 90′s at least of half of them would be able to quote at least one line from Space Jam.

Now for a quick glance into the movie. I don’t know if this is exactly in the right order because I don’t have the movie right in front of me, but it’ll be close enough. SPOILER ALERT!, but if you’ve yet to see Space Jam you should be stabbed 33 times by all of your closest friends just like Caesar was. The movie begins with the introduction of Michael Jordan as a kid, shooting free throws when he couldn’t fall asleep, and telling his father that he’s one day going to be awesome. We all remember the four step layup he takes (legal in the NBA?)  before the movie opening credits begin and the Space Jam song blasts through your T.V. Then flash forward to when we meet Michael Jordan in the gray period of his life when he thought that he could be a better baseball player than he was a basketball one. Yeah that went well Mike. You could have won 8 straight championships and went down as playing on the best team in history along with being the greatest player of all time (You can tell I was once a Bulls fan). But again, I digress, that’s for another post at another time. So Jordan is going to play baseball. We then flash to the crew at Moron Mountain, which consists of the boss and the martians who will eventually be known as the Monstars. According to sources, the boss’s name is Mr. Swackhammer and the little martians have names too,al though they don’t fucking tell us that in the actual movie. So business sucks at Moron Mountain and they need a way to bring in revenue. What better way to get business than to bring in the Looney Tunes. Again flash back to Earth. We find Jordan at a baseball game, sucking. But everyone loves him because he’s fucking Michael Jordan. The catcher even tells him what pitch is coming but he still strikes out, to a standing ovation of course. Back in space, the martians travel to LooneyTune Land and threaten their imprisonment. However, quick-witted Bugs Bunny gives them a challenge: if they beat the tiny martians in a basketball game they won’t have to go. Quite a predicament for the martians. The martians have decided to take the talent from the best in the NBA so they came beat the Tunes. Good call. Flash to Earth. The martians take the talent from the best players. But again, why Mike Bradley? Anyway, Jordan gets wind of this and thinks it’s great he got out in time. However, while playing a fun-filled game of golf with Larry Bird and Bill Murray, Jordan gets kidnapped by Bugs Bunny to help the Tunes in the basketball game. With some practice and his North Carolina shorts, Jordan gets back in the groove of basketball, and yadda yadda yadda, the TuneSquad upsets the Monstars with help from Bill Murray and a last second arm-stretching dunk by Jordan. The NBA players get their talent back, the Tunes are safe, the aliens get rid of their boss, and Jordan goes back to the NBA. Thus, all is well with both LooneyTune Land and planet Earth.

So, as you can see, I LOVE THIS MOVIE. If you haven’t seen it, watch it now. This movie was such a highlight in my childhood, to bring together my favorite basketball player and cartoon at the time. I love that the movie pokes fun at the fact that Jordan sucked at baseball and should have never left from the NBA in the first place, and makes reference to events that were happening at the time(such as Disney naming a team name The Ducks, ala The Mighty Ducks, or Charles Barkley dating Madonna for a short time). It’s funny to think that without the Looney Tunes we would have never seen the return of Michale Jordan. Plus the supporting cast add perfect comic relief to put the icing on the cake. I’m a sucker for movies with dry humor, but some of the one liners in the movie were absolutely great. Here’s some examples of what I’m talking about:

-”The mouse? You picked the mouse?”

-”Larry’s not white… Larry’s clear.”

-”You guy’s can’t beat that; that’s the best shot I’ve ever hit. That’s a hall of fame shot.”

-”Oh, this is nice. This is a nice house.”

-”What are you doing?”
“I’m a…I’m fixing a divot.”
“Oh…. HE’S FIXING A DIVOT!”

-”This girl… Five foot nothing… Blocked my shot…”
“So when did you start having these dreams?”
“IT WASN”T A DREAM! IT REALLY HAPPENED!”

-”You ain’t Charles Barkley! You’re just some washed up fool that looks like ‘em! Begone! Wannabe! Begone!”

-”Mmmm, something smells good! What are we havin?”
“Chicken.”
“Chicken and what?”
“Chicken and collard greens!”

-”Honey, I though you were going to get better seats this year! This man next to me is doing something very weird in his raincoat!”

-”You ain’t a goin’ nowheres!”

-”I’ll never date Madonna again.”

-”Woah, woah woah! I didn’t know Dan Ackroyd was in this picture!”

-”We’ve got hoops! We’ve got weights! We’ve got balls!”

-”Hey! I wash them after every game!”

-”Let’s go Bulls!!!”

Since I can quote pretty much the entire movie, I won’t bore you any longer with other quotes.  As you can see however, the list goes on and on. Hopefully you recognized at least one them.

To show you that I’m not pulling the popularity of this movie out of my ass, let’s take a look at how Space Jam fared in the box office (SSJREM will like this lol). Despite the mixed reviews, Space Jam was a major box office success. In its opening weekend, it grossed $27,528,529 in the United States. At the end of its run, it grossed $90,418,342 in the United States and $230,418,342 worldwide. Very nice gypsy. And if that wasn’t enough, take a look at how the soundtrack fared: The soundtrack earned mostly good reviews and was successful on the Billboard 200, peaking at #2. The soundtrack also managed to sell very well. It was certified as double platinum less than two months after its release, in January 1997, and in 2001, the soundtrack was certified 6x Platinum. You remember the songs: Space Jam, Fly Like An Eagle, I Believe I Can Fly (charted #2 by R. Kelly), Basketball Jones, etc. Great stuff.

So in conclusion, you can see why this movie is a definite in my Top Ten movies of all time. I may hold a little bias as a Michale Jordan and Looney Tunes fan, but regardless, this movie fucking rocks.  I give Space Jam one chezwick.